


Bittersweet Attrraction

by CaliberRose



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M, Graphic Description, One-Sided Attraction, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 22:15:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15872781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaliberRose/pseuds/CaliberRose
Summary: Jonathan just wants Clary to love him that way he loves her.





	Bittersweet Attrraction

Jonathan wasn’t sulking, he wasn’t. Clary had found out who he truly was and had tried to kill him for it. We don’t choose our parents, the words floated through his mind. And they were true He’d grown up knowing love a different way than his sister had; he had basically grown up in Hell.

Clary doesn’t understand how her mother had kept this big of a secret for so long, but she knows why she had kept it. If Jonathan thought that he could just walk into her life and kill her friends then pretend like nothing had happened. Well, he was wrong. Clary is angry. At her mother, at Valentine and at Jonathan; she’s mad at everyone who knew about her brothers’ identity and hadn’t told her.

Jonathan goes out into the world, even though he should have been packing up his belongings. His home had been compromised; but still he left his things where they were. He has his demonic glamour on; shadowing him from shadowhunters and mundanes.

Clary keeps her hood, of her forest green hoodie, up. She walks for a little while until she sees a park. She steps onto the grounds and huddles under an empty tree, several feet from the playground equipment. 

Jonathan spots his sister and strides over to her. He leans against the tree; out of her reach but close enough to see what she’s doing.

Clary pulls out a sketchbook and her pencil case. She flips to a brand new page before looking around the park for inspiration. She spots a small garden near the far end of the park and begins to sketch out the structures of it.

Jonathan watches her draw with fascination; he knew his sister could draw, he just didn’t know she could draw so well.

Clary finishes the garden drawing within an hour, but decides not to color it in. “It looks better without color,” she mumbles to herself with a sharp nod. She begins to draw a pair of wings; she doesn’t know where the inspiration comes from, but she greets it with enthusiasm.

Jonathan hums to himself very quietly, his eyes tracing her drawing. He realizes she must be drawing an angel or a fairy; he can’t think of anything else that she could be drawing that has wings.

Clary pauses to plug in her music, suddenly wanting to listen to some. She switches her pencil out for a piece of charcoal. Clary draws one wing straight and full, while the other is broken and had a falling sense to it.

Jonathan watches her very closely; switching between looking at her face and looking at her drawing.   
They’re like this for hours, until the sun has started to set. With Clary drawing the angel until her hands are black with charcoal while Jonathan watches her hand move with fascination, and her face with admiration. Jonathan at this point has completely forgotten about leaving town. His phone buzzes and he reaches for it; it’s a text from Valentine telling him that there are portal wards put up around the city and that he won’t be able to leave until they’re down. Jonathan pockets his phone with a sigh, but doesn’t move from his spot next to the tree.

Clary frowns and leans her head back against the tree. Her eyes slide close and she breathes in her surroundings, losing herself in the breeze momentarily.

Jonathan, as he stares at her, finds himself wanting to kiss her again. Although it would be a lot harder this time, seeing as Clary knew who he truly was now. Plus there was that whole thing about he was supposed to be at least in hiding by now.

Clary hums to herself, thinking about her brother. She hates herself for letting him kiss her; of course she hadn’t really had a choice in the matter. The kiss had happened so fast, she didn’t really know what was happening until she had pushed him away. At that point though, he had just been another handsome shadowhunter, not her brother.

Jonathan watches her; her hand had become rougher, pressing the charcoal against the paper harder. He wondered what she was thinking about.

“If I could just go back in time and not be so oblivious,” she spoke out loud to herself. But would she have been able to tell who Jonathan really was. Clary had known there was something off about Sebastian, but she hadn’t taken it to the point of he might be her lost brother.

Jonathan frowns to himself, as he continues to watch her. He can’t will himself to leave her side, even though it was becoming more and more apparent that he really needed to leave.

Clary can feel tears well up and slide down her cheeks. She had been stupid to think that her brother could have a shred of humanity. He had killed Elliot with no problem, and then he’d killed Dot whom she had known for most for her life. She wipes at the tears, smudging charcoal across her face.

Jonathan feels himself reaching out towards her, physically and mentally. As if he could make her feel better, but he couldn’t He’d only make things worse. He stops his hand, jerking it back so it’s at his side again.

Clary growls to herself, “Fuck,” she shakes her head. She rips out the drawing and crumbles it up before tossing it to the side. Usually she never got rid of artwork, no matter how good or how bad it was. She kept everything.

Jonathan pushes of the tree he’s been leaning on and steps back a few feet. He reminds himself that just because she can’t see him, doesn’t mean she can’t touch him.

Clary gets up from the ground and stretches. She places her sketchbook back in her bag and pulls out a tissue. She wipes the charcoal and tears from her face. Clary checks her face in her phone once she’s done and nods at her reflection.

Jonathan picks up the crumpled drawing as she turns to go. He uncrumples it. The drawing is of him and Jace. Jace has the strong looking wing, while Jonathans’ is broken and decaying. Jonathan wants to rip the drawing up; instead he shoves it into his pocket. He is not broken; damaged maybe, unfixable possibly, but not broken. He follows after his sister.

Clary walks to the institute before changing her mind and going past it. She goes back to her old home, the one her mother was taken from. She decides a change of scenery might clear her head. Plus if she was around Jace now, he’d know she was feeling down and she didn’t want to answer his questions. She goes inside her old home.

Jonathan slides in through the door just as she shuts it. He follows her up the stairs and into her home. Jonathan leans against the wall and out of the way, careful to not let her touch him.

Clary drops everything by the front door after shutting it behind her. She looks around and inhales the familiar scent of the room. Clary nods to herself before leaning against the wall.

Jonathan doesn’t move even though his sister leans against the wall right beside him. He inhales her lavender scent before moving over a bit, careful not to bump the lamp on the table.

Clary looks at the photos of her mother and Luke, before looking at pictures of her younger self. What would it have been like if she and Jonathan had grown up together? How different would her life have been? Would she still have gotten a mind block or would she and her brother have been raised as shadowhunters? 

Jonathan can see the sadness and longing behind her eyes. He wonders what she’s thinking about; he wonders if it’s him. That’s ridiculous, he thinks to himself. Clary couldn’t feel sadness or longing for him, not after he had killed her friends.

Clary goes to the bathroom and scrubs her hands until they’re raw, but clean of the charcoal. She looks at herself in the mirror and wipes away any marks of charcoal she couldn’t get before.

Jonathan doesn’t follow her; he stays against the wall in the living room. He whistles softly to himself as he looks at the family photos.

Clary’s tears start small, pooling around her cheeks. Then the real waterworks start up, leaving small puddles on the counter in front of her.

Jonathan bites his bottom lip, listening to her cry, knowing there is nothing he can do for her. Or maybe there is. He can let her know that he’s here, that he is here for her and always will be.

Clary cries, the sobs wracking her body. She fights to stay on her feet, steadying herself against the sink. How could she have not seen through Sebastian? Valentine was going to find out about the true mirror sooner than later, and she could have stopped Jonathan if she hadn’t been so focused on Jace and Simon.

Jonathan finds himself wandering to her bedroom; he sits on the side of her bed, leaving an indentation. He room looks like a nest with sketchbooks, clothes and regular books piled everywhere. It’s apparent that no one has been here, except Clary, since her mother had died.

Clary steps into her room a few minutes later, pity party over. She shrugs out of her hoodie and tosses it onto her bed.

Jonathan catches the hoodie instinctively, and curses.

Clary realizes that the garment has been caught in mid air and hangs above her bed.

Jonathan drops the hoodie quickly, but it’s obvious that Clary has noticed already.

“Who’s there?” Clary asks. His sister backs up against her bedroom wall; she doesn’t have any weapons with her, she had left them by the front door.

Jonathan gets to his feet, without saying a word. He tries to think of what do to now that she’s caught him.

Clary reaches around, looking for something she can use as a weapon. Her hand runs over her dresser, but all she can find is a pencil. “Who’s there?” She repeats.

Jonathan sighs. He should leave now, but he doesn’t. Instead he takes the glamour off, revealing himself to Clary. “Hello, little sister,” he says.

Clary takes him in and holds up the pencil. “What the fuck are you doing here?” She hisses at him, not taking her eyes off him.

Jonathan lets out a breathy laugh, bowing his head and keeping his eyes on her. “Family reunion?” He suggests.

Clary shakes her head. “No! That’s not what’s happening, you need to leave!”

Jonathan wets his bottom lip before pressing it against his top one. “I’m your brother, Clarissa, you shouldn’t treat me like this.”

“No, you’re not!” Clary opens her door, trying not to get closer to him.

Jonathan uses his demonic speed to get between her and the door. He slams it shut, causing her to stagger back because of his closeness.

Clary cries out and stumbles back, trying to get away from him. She manages to get around her bed, putting it between him and her.

Jonathan frowns, “I am your brother, Clarissa. There’s no changing that, even if you wanted too. I just want to show you how much I love you.”

Clary shakes her head, “Fuck you, Jonathan.” She frowns. “How long have you been here?”

“I’ve been with you for hours now, even though I was supposed to get out of the city. I stayed for you,” Jonathan steps around her bed, but stays in front of her door. 

Clary clenches her fists at her sides, “That’s stalking.”

“It isn’t,” Jonathan says, lightly. He locks her bedroom door, so even if she managed to get around him she’d have to pause to unlock it.

Clary watches him, “Unlock the door and leave, just leave Jonathan!”

“Not until you see things my way,” Jonathan comes towards her again, circling her bed that’s pressed up against one wall.

Clary doesn’t want to back herself up against the wall, but she does it anyways. A bad move on her part, she acknowledges. “Just leave,” she exclaims.

Jonathan backs her up against the wall intentionally. He lifts a hand to her face and traces her cheek, where tears once were, with his fingertips. “Why would I do that?”

Clary flinches away from his touch, “For me, Jonathan. Leave for me!”

“We both know I can’t do that,” Jonathan holds her chin. “You’ve seen me already; you’ll run back to the institute and tell all of your new friends.”

Clary frowns again, “I won’t go and tell them, I swear. Please Jonathan...”

Jonathan doesn’t really hear her; he’s stopped listening. He runs his thumb over her bottom lip, before biting his own.

Clary realizes her brother is going to kiss her again; and there’s no way to stop him. Unless... Clary knees him as hard as she can in the groin and races for the door.

Jonathan recovers quickly, getting to the door as she does. He presses a hand above her against the door, and breathes in her scent from the back of her head. “That wasn’t very nice, Clarissa.”

Clary shivers and unlocks the door, she tries to open it but can’t. “Let me go, please.”

Jonathan presses himself up against her, intentionally to make her squirm. He holds the door shut, inhaling her again.

Clary does squirm, her body reacting out of fear. “Let. Me. Go!” She pushes back against him, trying to think of any weaknesses he has.

Jonathan turns Clary to face him, thudding her back against the door. “I haven’t shown you how much I love you yet, though.”

“You don’t need too,” Clary looks up at him, frowning.

“I’ve been going crazy thinking about you; I’m going crazy now, being this close to you,” Jonathan presses a finger under her chin, tipping her head up.

Clary looks away from him, turning her head to the side. “I think you’re just crazy,” she spits out at him.

“That is a possible factor,” Jonathan says, breathlessly. He can’t hold back any longer, he leans down, catching her mouth with his.

Clary shoves at him, trying to get away.

Jonathan grips her throat firmly and holds her against the door, kissing her harder. 

Clary doesn’t make a move, not kissing him back.

Jonathan pulls back, panting softly. He searches her face as he reaches down in between them and unbuckles his belt.

Clary bites her lip hard and bangs her small fists on his chest. “NO!!” She howls out, sounding more animal than human. Clary shakes her head, her red hair flying everywhere.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Jonathan whispers, holding her still with his other hand. “You’ll feel what I feel for you, Clarissa. And you’ll like it, I promise you,” he spins her around then, pressing her face against the door.

Clary continues to shake her head, “I won’t like it! I won’t! Jonathan don’t do this to me!”

“It’s okay,” Jonathan says, his mouth at her ear. He wrenches his jeans down over her ass.

Clary starts to cry, “Don’t do this! Jonathan, please don’t!”

Jonathan slides his hand, that isn’t holding her, between her legs and parts her thighs. “You’ll feel what I feel, I promise you,” he repeats, softly.

Clary tenses her whole body up, definitely not wanting this. “D-don’t do this-s,” she stutters out.

Jonathan angles his cock at her opening and pushes inside of her, going in dry. It feels amazing, she feels amazing. All tight and warm around him; he shoves his full length inside of her.

Clary bites down on her lip harder so she doesn’t give him the satisfaction of hearing her cries. She closes her eyes and tries to open the door again.

Jonathan presses her hands above her head, with one of his hands, against the door. His other hand grips her hip as he thrusts up inside of her warmth.

Clary’s eyes close tighter, “Stop! Jonathan please stop!” She cries out. She knows there’s no stopping him now, but she can’t just give up.

“You’ll feel what I feel,” Jonathan mutters against her hair. He moves his hips quicker, moving in and out of her swiftly.

Clary shakes her head, she cries out in pain. The feeling of his large cock inside her dry pussy is getting her to make noises she’s never made until now.

Jonathan doesn’t realize they’re sounds of pain, he thinks Clary is enjoying it. That his little sister is enjoying a pleasure only he can give her.

Clary leans her head against the door and whimpers, “Jonathan- Please s-stop,” all she can feel is pain.

Jonathan moans against the back of her head, beating his member deep inside of her. “How does it feel, Clarissa?”

“It h-hurts, you’re hurting me,” Clary speaks, truthfully.

“You’re lying,” Jonathan refuses to think that she doesn’t love this just as much as he is. He pulls out of Clary and spins her again. No sooner has her back hit the door is he inside of her again.

Clary cries out again, a mix of surprise and agony. She keeps her eyes shut tight, her mouth a firm line.

Jonathan kisses her neck softly; roughly pushing inside and pulling out of her.

Clary tries to get her hands free, but fails. “Please, s-stop,” she stumbles over her words. Clary pushes against him, but ends up pushing his cock deeper inside of herself.

“Look at me, Clarissa, look at what you do to me,” Jonathan whispers, leaning back. He continues to thrust, his thrusts becoming harder. 

Clary shakes her head; she refuses to look at her ‘brother,’ she tries to pull her hands away again.

Jonathan’s breath quickens, his thrusts quickening as well. “Look at me,” he growls in her face, his eyes flashing black.

Clary shakes her head, “No, I won’t,” she says, stubbornly.

Jonathan takes his hand off her hip and jerks her face to his; his other hand still securing her wrists together against the door. “Look at me, Clarissa, and I’ll finish.”

Clary looks up at his face, her eyes catching his. There are tears running down her face; there is nothing but pain in her eyes.

Jonathan bites his bottom lip, taking in the sight of her beauty. “Now kiss me,” his thrusts quicken. “And I’ll finish.”

Clary shakes her head, “No...”

“Kiss me and you’ll never have to see me again,” Jonathan whispers against her tear stained cheek.

Clary leans up and kisses him softly; she needs the pain to be over.

Jonathan returns the kiss softly; it gives him that final push that he needs. He slows his thrusts, deepening them, cumming inside of her womb. He then breaks away from the kiss, breathing hard. Jonathan empties himself inside of her fully before pulling out of her. He kisses her forehead before sliding his cock back into his pants and buckling his belt back up. 

Clary keeps any noise she wants to make to herself. She looks at her brother, “Please, g-go.”

Jonathan nods, frowning. “I’m sorry you couldn’t see it my way, Clarissa.” He opens the door, glamouring himself from her eyes before leaving her alone. 

Clary leans back against the door and slides down it, sobbing.


End file.
